supercollider

a maudlin night, before the end of time. there are some rumblings around the news about a supercollider in switzerland where tomorrow they will try to recreate the big bang.

i've been talking all day flippantly about annihilation.
i smoked cigarettes, v and r smoked as well, we listened to t. rex, cosmic dancer -- on my recommendation-- and talked about the theory of relativity, the moon. i felt a bit like i was in college, but with now a more palpable weight, a seriousness draped over the flippantness that was before draped over earnestness.

earlier we walked to videodrome, and the guy behind the counter gave a pointed and articulate summation in a clipped german accent-- somehow the same kind of clipped as his haircut -- of his opinion of 'mist', critiqueing the 'series of implausabilities'. r made a joke as we were leaving about how if the world ends she might not return the video, and the video guy explained again quite tightly that actually the world would not end, but with the recreation of the big bang time would fold back onto itself to a time many years before the existence of the videodrome, and she could return the video later after a billion or so years.

we walked out and v opened some beers with a lighter and we talked about a belt that a german friend of theirs received from a girl in the dominican republic that had a built-in bottle opener. later in the walk after rachel stepped in dog poo we discussed what shit smelled more, dog's or human's. though i can't say i participated so much in that discussion.

and these are somehow quiet days. that tonight is the end of them or any days seems appropriate, the little banalities of city life are all the more cinematic, the night before the supercollider experiment.

yesterday as i was crossing prinzenstr. i practically ran into a car with my bike. I turned to look at the people in the car, and there were five clowns. their makeup was a bit streaked, they looked like yesterday's clowns. i laughed and you could see the split-second reaction pass over their faces, from confusion as to why i was laughing, to the flash of recognition, 'ah, right, we're dressed like clowns, that's why she's laughing.'